Difficult Facebook Relationship Status Changes
Single, In a Relationship, Married – It’s Complicated with Facebook
Sep 1, 2009
Facebook relationship status changes can have a great impact upon the lives of Facebook members. The seriousness of this online social networking relationship phenomenon cannot be underestimated. British courts have now heard that a recent murder in Britain was motivated, in part, by a simple change of Facebook relationship status.
Facebook Relationship Status Change Leads to Loss of Life in the UK
On 12th March 2009 Haley Jones, 26, was stabbed in her family home in Caerphilly, Wales. BBC news online, reporting from the trial on 1st September 2009, stated that “A mother-of-four was murdered by her partner days after she changed her Facebook status from "married" to "single", a court has heard.”
Although not actually married, Haley and her partner Brian Lewis had been childhood sweethearts and often referred to themselves as married. The same BBC report goes on to relate the words of trial prosecutor Mark Evans: “On 2 March, she changed her Facebook relationship status from married to single and she made it clear their relationship was over.”
The impact of this Facebook relationship status change sent her partner into a rage, a rage taken out upon Haley. The trial continues.
The Problematic Nature of Facebook Relationship Status Changes & Online Social Networking
The above incident is obviously an extreme case of online social networking behaviour. However, the relationship status field in Facebook profiles can lead to many complications. A Facebook user currently has eight options for this field:
- Single
- In a relationship
- Engaged
- Married
- It’s complicated
- In an open relationship
- Widowed
- Leave this field blank
Mini-feed alerts, if not turned off, will alert all of a users friends to any Facebook relationship status changes. Friends can also clearly see the relationship status on a member’s page if displayed, so even without the mini-feed alerts close friends will often notice a change. This has many problematic repercussions – not only within Facebook online social networking circles but also in "real life" itself.
The Psychological Effects of the Facebook Relationship Status Field
Facebook is a very powerful and often addictive online social networking tool. Users often have hundreds of ‘friends’ linking to their profile, and privacy issues can easily be forgotten or overlooked.
Relationships can face added stress, greater pressure and more arguments with a public Facebook status. For many partners, a change of Facebook relationship status can become a serious issue. Whether publicly acknowledging a new relationship – going from “single” to “in a relationship” – or breaking-up, the psychological effect should not be underestimated.
A Facebook relationship status change in the case of a break-up or divorce can have a huge psychological impact. Psychologically it is something overpoweringly concrete and final. It is a public announcement with an instant broadcast to the user’s closest circle of friends, family and acquaintances.
A Facebook relationship change is limited to a few very specific options. A real life relationship can never be categorized as one of seven online social networking options.
How to Avoid the Inherent Problems of Facebook Relationship Status
The best option any Facebook user has is to leave the relationship status field blank. Not adding this information is the only secure way of avoiding future problems.
When a new boyfriend or girlfriend wants a Facebook relationship status to be changed from “single” to “in a relationship” it may be difficult to say no. However, an absence of any relationship status on Facebook is the best option, even if it comes across as being noncommittal or unromantic.
An online social networking site should never be allowed to intrude upon real life relations. A Facebook relationship status should not be allowed to gain any greater significance than what it is – a highly simplistic portrayal of endlessly complex human relations. A Facebook relationship status is often best left blank.
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