Bullying has taken a giant leap into cyberspace but only about 15% of parents are in-the-know about social networking issues facing kids today; it's time to get informed.
Time was, bullies knew their place. School, street, they sometimes even followed us to our front doors—but they never came in. So, to the rooftops we shouted, “Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Not so, kids today. Thanks to the Internet, there’s a new spin on bullying—vicious as ever, but more invasive and longer-lived. Cyber bullies have come home to roost.
Cyber Bullying Stats
In the good old days, being called names like “Captain Hook” and “Porker” always scored a soccer punch, but news of our shortcomings stayed local. For 21st century kids, it’s open season on the Web—nonstop and merciless—and the tormenters are feasting. Stopbullying.com reports that 90% of middle schoolers’ feelings have been hurt online; 75% have bashed another online; and 40% have had their passwords stolen, enabling someone to impersonate them and send malicious messages. Yet, only about 15% of parents know about cyber bullying.
The National Crime Prevention Council found that more than 40% of surveyed teens had been victims of cyber bullying during the past year, but only 10% had told their parents. Indeed, the Department of Justice estimates that only 18% of such incidents are even reported.
Flaming and More
Cyber bullying is name-calling, plus. Harassment flourishes on social networks, and even eight-year-olds intimidate and extort their weaker, not-so-cool peers. Known as “flaming,” kids also insult and threaten their “lesser” classmates, hounding them and spreading cruel untruths. And, thanks to camera phones, embarrassing images are sent out for all to see. No place is safe from multitasking devices—not even the girls’ or boys’ rooms. Today’s cuties are tech savvy, indeed.
Consequences
Don’t straight away say you know what it’s like, were hurt in your day, too, that it will pass. And don’t say, “Get over it.” They can’t. This is a new breed of torment, and it has no borders. The Web is, indeed, a network—a netting, a trap, a noose. Once caught in its threads, some children suffer quietly, while others are finally forced to opt for home schooling. Then there are the children who make the front pages, turning inward and then exploding into violent acts of murder and suicide. Heads in the sand won’t do anymore. Boundaryless cyber bullying will keep increasing unless we at home step up.
Solutions
First, we must model the behavior we want to see in our children, editing our words and keeping our hands to ourselves. Abuse in any form is contagious. The Center for Teaching Peace’s Coleman McCarthy says “Bullies aren’t born, they are taught, often by peers, sometimes by the adults at home or coaches . . .”
- For easier monitoring, computers belong in high-traffic locations, not kids’ bedrooms, and time limits should be set.
- Promote instead more family and face-to-face friend time, reading and outdoor play, too.
- Meanwhile, follow your kids online and check out what they’re doing on their new playground.
- How else can we converse with them about their Internet experiences? Generation MYSPACE author Candice M. Kelsey suggests signing up, creating your own profile, and logging on once-a-day for a week, saying, “My Space is at the front lines of redefining today’s teenagers. It’s a parent-free zone where every teen can pretend to be anything or anyone they want.” And they want. With an estimated 150,000 new sign-ups every day, the site now boasts over 180 million profiles.
- Adults need to get connected, too, and help is out there. Visit Connecticut's Attorney General's Office site for step-by-step MySpace help.
- Then check out NetLingo's online dictionary and find out about all those text messaging acronyms so in vogue, like POS (Parent Over Shoulder). And to complete your Internet bullying education, call on the folks at WiredSafety, NetSmartz, and StopBullying. Don’t delay.
